Dear LiveJournal,

You brought back good ol' mem'ries dear journal =)) that I've lost my ability to bloviate on my 'youthful' transpirations. I feel rather stupid talking to an inanimate virtual website but it makes me feel BETTER at times like this when I JUST CAN'T SLEEP. ;D

Perhaps I MAY be back to tapping my thumbs on this journal on this very year; the year I'll turn 21. =))
& I'd really love to say this. 2011- the numerical stripping of the 'teen' phase of my life became a conceit of my turning point as a young adult. Like any other youth meandering through smooth and rough patches, I'd proudly proclaim that I'm amongst the strong-minded and cheerful young adult to negate away from pessimism.

To end this very impromptu first post to a brand new year, I'd like to share my resolutions:
On studies - mug till I drop and achieve my desired grades; first-class honours.
On family - make my parents smile with pride as they say, "that's our daughter."
Friends - a breathing inspiration to them; and of course to meet new awesome people. <3
On love - to make someone feel special...and mean something special to that awesome person. <3
On myself - live with less regrets. Smile and make others smile too. <3

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I don't know what's being planned for me out there.
I don't know why are all these happening to me.
I don't know why it has to be this way for many years.
I don't know why the cycle keeps repeating.
I don't know why I'm not doing ANYTHING about it all.

One minute I was the happiest person alive..and then the next it goes straight right down and down...and down. Yeah. That's the cycle of deprivation in my life.

Livejournal...you contained more than half cherish-worthy and the worst of the memories my mind could take, and imma print every single one of the entry out...paste them on a real book.
I can't rely too much on internets to keep memories, can I?
Goodbye, LJ.

P.S. Love...for anyone be it my family, friends.....you... It weakens me.

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Life's been great these days I don't really have much to talk about.

& I can proudly announce that I (finally) got over the most interrogating portion of the last chapter of my life. Thanks to my bestfriend MARIEL ONEZ who snapped the truth right out on me. Boo!!

New Year was......perhaps a great start? Haha!! OMG I LOST MY BLOGGING STYLE.
Ok that's about it!!! Gosh!! Imma blog more next time then.

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I miss my soft bed.
I miss Singapore's city lights.
I miss my (pinky) room.
I miss my Tiggers here.
I miss my piano.
I miss my friends here.
I miss my Frog Prince......

*were you even happy?* -.-

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I´ve spent most of my christmas days in the Philippines & it has always been a blast (compared to Singapore).
Christmas carols from cute little children, crazy games and stuff like that.

& not to forget the rural-ness of this province I´m at. It´s just so peaceful.

Random thing:: this german laptop is so confusing =/ it´s kinda difficult to type because the y and z are switched and there are extra keypads like these ßöä.......... MEHN I MISS GERMAN LESSONS THAT I TOOK FOR 5 YEARS!!!!

ok so anyway, I get to see more GORGEOUS SUNRISES AND SUNSETS.....but..... i hate it when it rains because the ground here gets muddy. BOOOO!!!

OK IÄM TO LAYZ TO TZPE MORE:: MERRY ADVANCED CHRISTMAS PEOPLEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Isn´t this just so cute?? My aunt calls it her ´hideaway´´. I could get a direct view of beautiful sunrise here. There was this one fine afternoon that I chased everyone away from there cuz i wanted it all to myself. hehehehe ;D

Why is it that I feel so BAD about EVERYTHING that it repels everyone away?!?!

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Rah rah rah ah ah ah!!

Okayyy I shouldn't emphasize any more of it now. I wanna work or whatever to bail myself out.
Running later in the morning. LIKE FINALLY!!

I was just reading through some quote-filled-twitter page and I came across these.
"do unto others as how you want them to do unto you."
"think about others before yourself"

Well painful memories are part and parcel of life. (fck yeah I know this cliche)
Sometimes I just have to learn to let them go.
& as for that pretty little box with that favourite warm-filled top wear, I couldn't bear to let it go myself.
I didn't wanna witness that sentimental memory disposed off. Yeah. Disposed, off into a garbage. Yeah garbage. Just garbage. That word means alot.

The whole 2 years of JC has been a fcking hell of a journey for me'. It was like a thousand ugly and pretty episodes of reality compressed within a tiniest chapter of my life...I've had enough.

TOO
MUCH
that it becomes the scapegoat of my lack of concentration and coherence of mind.

Dear God. Too many things are just happening too fast within a short period of time. Me need a break. =((
I need things to go slowER Now.
And God. I hope things as of now stays the same for my parents.... Let no one break their bond.

& thank you my Frog Prince for being with me' through all this shit. You know the most till the depth of my emotions. You know how each episode impact my life, from young till the crazy ones in the past 9-going-on-10 months. You're too understanding.

Haha!! & what else ends up in the garbage?!?!
SCHOOL NOTES AND UNIFORM BITCHES!!!

HAPPY FAMILY!!!

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It struck me; the depth of the brittleness life can be. It brings tears to my eyes.

After being with you for the whole of my JC life, your voice, your craziness that brings us to laughter, & the fact that sometimes you do not know it was all about you.
That time when you were freely dancing around during the school's musical-you were so happy...
Your spelling and pronunciation errors, your shrieks of imitation and repetitive reminders.
The extreme ends of your mood, but then you apologized when you knew how bad your temper was.
Imagery...pathetic fallacy....

You're a wonderful teacher.
Nature sympathizes with you today, madam.

I'll never forget those (last) words for me the week before A-levels.

"Kristel I really really want you to do well that's why I'm willing to stay longer with you and go through everything with you. "

It was just a few weeks ago, lessons were as usual. Your smile and everything.
Never did it occur to me' that while we were doing our paper 4, post-colonial lit, perhaps I would like to say, (your paper), that you would have already been...--

How I wish you could stay longer for our results...

May God Bless you. <3
RIP.

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One more paper one more paper one more paper!!!!
3...or rather 2 more daysssss!!! Rahhhhhh!!!
Damn I'm wondering if I am able to squeeze all post-A's plans within 7-8 months?

Holiday at US.
Holiday at Bintan.
GET A PART-TIME JOB
*GUITAR*
*PIANO*
*PHOTOGRAPHY*
*RUN RUN RUN*
*DRIVING*
More family outing
Badminton, run and out with frog prince
OUT WITH FRIENDS
Shopping

& more more more

Blah! I shouldn't be saying "ah so bored at home".

But grahh!! Getting results in feb/march. Gotta see if I'm able to dump my ass in a local uni. *gulps*

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